


Subject To Laws We Did Not Make

by wiltin



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Fortune Telling, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:07:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22222300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wiltin/pseuds/wiltin
Summary: An elven princess is being forced into an arranged marriage to prevent a war-- one problem, though. He’s really not into that. He runs off with a seer and they both leave their lives behind, but for love, the princess couldn’t care less about his duties in maintaining peace. Most of the time."Prince, Princess. Whatever. Princess feels a little rebellious, doesn't it, Kravitz? Like I get to be someone that chooses his own destiny. It's one thing I have… control over."
Relationships: Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	1. Bad Ideas

The ivory skull, polished to perfection, seemed to be staring at him, almost... expectantly. Kravitz inhaled deeply. The underground air was cool and far fresher than was expected. He gulped it as though it were water on the lips of a desert wanderer. If all went as he hoped, he would be gone from the castle soon.

The wrought-iron knocker made a sound on the mahogany which rang through the marble halls. It echoed hauntingly as Kravitz waited. The door opened without much noise. A green eye framed by honey hair blinked momentarily before the door was fully thrown open.

The princess’s presence was a lot to at first behold. All elements were stunning yet understated to a point where none could really be found better or worse than another. He had a long, elegant roman nose. His ears were customarily long for an elf, and his skin was tinged with blue. His lips shone as though coated in honey. His eyes were bright and glinted like well-cut emeralds. The cascade of his braided honey hair was more an experience than a feature. He wore a grand dress made to flatter him perfectly. It was the nicest dress Kravitz had seen, far more expensive than anyone except royalty could ever buy. Beetlewings and gold thread embroidered the waist and the rest was shell pink silk.

Kravitz cast his mind from the princess’s appearance best she could.

“Oh, come in. I’ve a couple chairs set up for us. I set tea up but I misjudged the time, it must be cold by now.”

“I don’t mind, your majesty. I’m not here for tea, I assume.”

“Yes, but I would like to be a gracious host where possible, good sir. Pleasure _and_ business. Makes it all _far_ easier.”

“Of course. I meant no disrespect.” Kravitz bowed and took a seat at one of the two chairs. A conflicted look shot across Taako’s face. It quickly passed.

The bed was grand, custom made and custom painted. Jars and bottles shone like precious jewels from the vanity. Assorted knick-knacks suck as solid gold stars and shining crystals were hung on strings from the ceiling, which was painted with a purple sky filled with stars and clouds. The place was fairly well-lit by white light lamps.

“Is it easier with the lights dimmed, Mister Kravitz?” Taako hesitated by the chair opposite.

“It makes no difference to me, your majesty.”

“Well, I’ll dim them, then. For dramatic effect.” The princess drew red curtains around the lamps, which changed the lights in to room to be a far moodier lighting. The tea was full of foreign spices, and was still hot as though freshly brewed. 

“So, Mister Kravitz.” Taako sat near the edge of his seat. “Do you already have answers, or will you need to look?” Taako’s features were made sharper by the harsh lighting.

“Not all of them, your majesty. I have given the matter a light look-over since receiving your letter, but for the most I wanted to wait for your questions.”

“Well, let’s start with a hard one. Should I follow through on the engagement?”

“Objectively, it would be better for the kingdom in most futures if you go through with the marriage as is. However, I do see a couple possibilities where…” Kravitz was embarrassed as he looked at the future. “...There are other alternatives with different results.”

“What do you mean?” Taako’s eyes pierced Kravitz.

“It’s… If you go through with the marriage, there will be no war. However, I see you with a missing piece. You will have to sacrifice yourself for the marriage. Not physically,” He added, as Taako looked shocked, “But you won’t have the happiness or freedom you... crave.”

“Your word choice is fun.” Taako grinned as Kravitz looked away, embarrassed.

“I’m sure that Prince Sazed can’t be that bad, your…” A vision flitted through Kravitz’s mind, half uninvited yet half expected. Well, what _wasn’t_ expected when you were a seer? “...Oh, that’s not great.”

“What’s not great?” Taako stared curiously.

“I do see a possible future that ends quite badly, your majesty. An entire courtroom filled with the council. Their mouths are foaming with poison, put in the food at your husband’s will. But it’s only one path, your--”

“What happens if I run away?” Taako’s eyes were almost pleading now. His fists were tightly clenched, and he had lost a good deal of his composure.

“In nine out of ten futures, you don’t make it alone.” Kravitz felt his head begin to hurt. He didn’t have a lot of predictions left in him. He hoped Taako didn’t have too many more questions.

“What if you come with me?” Taako asked. The pair’s eyes met. Kravitz felt his heart speed up. He knew the answer. His mouth felt dry. Kravitz took a long sip of his tea.

“The chances… would increase significantly, your majesty. However, you cannot tell your sister.”

“And, uh… why not?”

“Someone finds out, and myself and another are sacrificed in order for you to get away.” Kravitz’s hand flew to his head, where a splitting headache warned him he didn’t have much left in him.

“Hey, dude, are you okay?” Taako stood up and leaned forwards to put his hand on Kravitz’s hunched shoulder.

“I’m fine, I can give you one last prediction before I lose the Sight for awhile.

“...Will we be happy? Out there, doing stuff as normal people? Not royalty or anything, just… normal?”

Kravitz half-smiled. “You’ll feel guilty at times, but we’ll be able to find happiness, if we try.” The headache was replaced by a slight numbness in Kravitz’s forehead. He looked up at Taako, who was beaming, practically giving off light.

“Well, when do we leave, Mister Kravitz?”


	2. On The Run

In order to escape the grasps of Taako’s old life, the pair would need to take one of two paths. Try to make Taako’s leaving town seem inconspicuous, or, Kravitz knew, the better option, which was to let as few people know they were leaving as possible. Their first step would be to leave the castle. It was simple enough, as Taako knew the place fairly well. Something that Kravitz had not foresaw, as he had not specifically tried to look for it, was that Taako was almost criminally clumsy. It could have just been the weighty ballgown, but nevertheless it was a certain liability.

The pair made it mostly unseen, until one singular slip-up. Rather literally, as Taako tripped over his own dress directly into the arms of a guard, who had turned the corner at just the proper time. The bespeckled man nearly panicked.

“Your Majesty! What are you doing out here? Didn’t you have a meeting with-- oh, the seer’s here, too? Where are you going?”

“Please, Sir Bluejeans--” And it was, in fact, the royal knight, Sir Barry Bluejeans. He had gained great renown after protecting from an oncoming troll raid, and had been officially knighted. “--I can’t just sit here. Come on, it’s  _ me _ . Please don’t tell anyone you saw me?”

Sir Bluejeans looked conflicted for half a moment, then helped steady the princess back upon his feet. “Of course, Your Majesty.”

And so they make it through the castle without a hitch. The pair go through the back entrance of the castle, as not to raise suspicion.

“Oh my  _ Gods _ , I’ve been underground for so long. You know, I thought having an underground room would be cooler and more mysterious, but it’s just kinda  _ boring _ .”

“Well, Your Majesty--”

“Just Taako,  _ darling _ .”

“Well… Taako, I think your dress might be slowing us down a little. Not to mention, You’ll stand out quite a bit in it.”

“Ooh, are we going nude? I’m down if you are--”

“ _ Definitely _ not. Please take this seriously. We need to find other clothes or disguise you somehow. Not every random, inconspicuous civilian wears a silk-and-beetlewing dress  _ and _ bears a striking resemblance to the royal family.”

“So, what do you suggest, handsome?”

“Well, I think we could try a… disguise? You can cover the dress with my cloak and... and hopefully nobody looks too hard at your face.”

“Ooh, I know where there’s a couple capsule machines that give out fake moustaches in town.”

“That… isn’t an  _ awful _ idea…”

And so the pair continued their escape journey. Taako gave Kravitz a coin with which to buy the fake moustache, and Taako was (sort of) effectively disguised. Kravitz led the way along to a less-crowded side road. The city was labyrinthian, yet there was a certain pattern to it. He makes short work of navigation, and soon they exit the city walls, with Kravitz buying a loaf of bread near the gates.

Just this morning, Taako had been in a castle, awaiting an advisory meeting with a future-seer. Now, he was fleeing into a forest with someone he had just met.

“Oh, are we going to your place? I didn’t think anyone lived in these woods.”

“No, I wander more than I stay somewhere. It’s not worth buying a house anywhere, with the pockets of a man paid on commission. Oh, it must be rude for me to keep this now.” Kravitz stopped walking to dig in his shoulder bag. He pulled out a bag of coin and handed it to Taako.

“What’s this? Why are you giving me a bag of money?”

“The money I received from your family as commission. I didn’t ‘convince you that this marriage would bring the best future for the kingdom’. Consider it a refund.”

“Okay, well, I wanted you to give me advice, so fuck my family, and I think you should really take this back.” Taako shoved it in Kravitz’s chest and rushed ahead so Kravitz couldn’t see his face.

“Your… Taako, I can’t take this.”

“Sucks. Consider this my last royal order. I don’t  _ want _ it. You did a job and got paid. Goods and services and shit.”

The two walked through the woods in silence for awhile. Taako spoke. “Uh, is it hard? Does it ever get… lonely, I guess?”

“No, I prefer it. Life is more exciting on the move than sticking around somewhere. Regular change is healthy.”

“Is it?” Taako asked, and his voice could only be described as  _ sad _ .

They walked for longer, and when the trees’ leaves let golden light drift lazily through, and the air began to cool, they arrived at a clearing. A ruined stone wall, short in some spots yet in others up to Kravitz’s shoulders, sat in the middle of the place. The remains of a wooden floor, which was now rotted and weathered, lined the interior of the place. A stone firepit, untouched by the same ruin, lay in the center of it all. The once-cottage was fairly modest in size. It would make good shelter, Kravitz decided.

He began to gather wood, which was in abundance here. He grabbed dried long grass and some hempen rope, the latter of which came from his bag, and began to build a fire in the cottage’s firepit. The night wasn’t cold but the warm light was welcome. Though not needed, the fire was comforting. Kravitz set long sticks into the earth around their camp. In a spot where the wall was the tallest, he built a lean-to using his cloak and a few more sticks.

“What’s with the branch circle? Is it some divination magic shit?”

“No, it’s just a little bit of added shelter to deter deer and other animals. Doubles as an alarm system if the branches break.”

“Oh, chill.” There was another long silence. Kravitz took the loaf from his bag and used a dagger to cut slices from it. He also took a bag filled with sun-preserved meat from his shoulder bag, and began to toast the bread and warm the meat. 

Taako watched this strange ritual with a curious eye. He was utterly perplexed by the workings of common society. Dried meat that they carry in bags. Campfire toast without butter anywhere to be seen. Bread made to be brown instead of white. It was unfamiliar yet comfortable, in a way.

“What’s it like? Wandering and telling futures? You must’ve seen some weird-ass things.”

“Oh, it’s… Honestly, Taako, I don’t stop to think about it much. I guess it’s fine, it can be an exciting livelihood. I occasionally get into fights or need to run from the law, but it all tends to turn out favorably.”

“You’ve gotta get bored of it sometimes. Don’t you ever just wanna settle somewhere for awhile? Don’t you get lonely?”

“I make acquaintance with a great deal of people. Some I even befriend, eventually. I don’t have a need to stay somewhere when I’m fine how I am.”

“And do you ever… wish you didn’t have that responsibility? Don’t you wish you were born into a normal life?”

“...Not often. Do you wish you were born into a different position?”

“Oh, gods, yes. Come on, Kravitz, you should know that. Well, I guess the engagement was a final nail in a very nail-heavy coffin.”

“I have a question, Taako. Why do you go by the title ‘princess’?”

"Prince, Princess. Whatever. Princess feels a little rebellious, doesn't it, Kravitz? Like I get to be someone that chooses his  _ own _ destiny. It's one thing I have… control over." He thought for a moment. “Well, had control over. I’m not royalty anymore, so I guess I have control over other things, now, too.”

“You feel guilty, don’t you?” Kravitz remembered a snippet of one of his predictions.

“Well, yeah. I probably just caused a war. Oh... oh  _ fuck _ .”

“There are many different realities, Taako. This is the best timeline for you, and there are many where it turns out as the best one for the kingdom, as well.” Taako just nodded a little. Kravitz passed Taako two slices of toast and a few chunks of meat. He took some himself and began to eat it. Taako tentatively took a bite.

“Oh, this isn’t bad. Are there seeds in this bread?” Taako looked over at Kravitz as he nodded. “And the meat is nice! A little salty, but the texture is new, I like it.”

“Travel food isn’t luxury, but it’s not bad.” And so the two ate, the crackle of the fire broke what little silence remained between their talking, of small nothings and deep truths. The night grew deep, and eventually they couldn’t stay awake for much longer, and they bid each other goodnight before drifting off into the vast expanse of a world of dreams.


End file.
